? Karma, what is this bickering vibe we are allowed to choose within?

Now Karma, I’m not speaking of anger or even different degrees of hate. I do know this is some of you that we must all phase through; but I’m asking you about bickering.

Karma, is bickering considered a bad vibe of yours? I’m speaking about just bickering?  The bickering of talk.  The language of bickering. A way of communication between two us’s in order to make known two different attitudes on two different ways of one situation or assistance on points of views.

Yes, some see bickering as an argument back and forth amongst two individuals. I see bickering as somewhat a point which each one is in need of making and when there is no real argument, only points.  This may include a constant raising of the vocal cords during disagreement of views or maybe a monotonic atmosphere of back and forth sopranos in the know. No fooling here, bickering may turn to indifference, anger or hate without knowing myself.  All are in my choices and although some see bickering as arguments, I do not look for this in your essence. And although I am not looking for this argumentative side of you, I do find myself sometimes having to walk away, depending on the other spirit I am sharing with. But at least, I am understanding your contrast.

Are you saying to me it’s a way? If this is my choice, choose this vibration and see where I land with it? Are you saying bad and wrong are my things, as well as good and right until I get tired of those things or just move on to catch another vibe? Does this mean this is simply another ladder and to take it until or unless, my comfort ends?

So, makes me wonder? Is this a bit of a sharp vibe? Will this generate into emotional turmoil for me or my accomplice? What do I evolve into when I am bickering? Or which emotions will I progress into when I crave your melodrama essence? Should I see your attachment with bickering as an argument with a kind-of back and forth argumentative voice amongst two individuals with emotional substance? And, I am an emotional substance, so can I use this gently and wisely? Can you look into my foundation and help me out?

But now as I look at you, I am sensing the vibe of neutrally amongst us. If I am choosing melodramas, this is a mild one to choice instead of picking heavy, right? Could this be a win for me from whenst I come?  And karma, I see it as sweet. A sweet melodrama. Can I be that wrong about us? Is this my way of making a bickering excuse? A suitable explanation for my purpose of allowance?

Are you revealing to me the part of you that is saying to look within my heart for my own truth? That you are here within to search with me, not evaluate me?

I am asking you for the purity of this foundation of yours. Can you show me that? Okay, are you silently speaking to me, saying be careful? Are you saying in asking for your pure bickering essence, it requires my awareness of peacefulness within, of the awareness of my intertwined emotions, of the awareness of the depth of my lovingness, of the strength of my friendship? It requires my understanding of the created foundation of the other without expectations of expectation? It requires the allowances of the other to bicker within your essence with enough growth of love also? It requires the allowance of us to be in the comfort within the lightness of you, dear karma.

And why is all this self-realization necessary Karma? It’s just bickering I am asking about! Your stirringness within me is projecting your attitude of thoughtfulness which is needed during bickering’s. Well, hmmmmm, very intuitive of you Karma! And yes, I will know by our ending;, the ending should not require any stinging of our souls.

Okay Karma of mine, since you are alive for all, I have chosen to see your essence in this mode of communication between two souls as a playfulstance for my means of talking between two souls, with physical connection.

As you know, there’s a voice of bickering which becomes familiar.  There’s a spirit in bickering which leads to the comfort of two familiar people and in turn leads to a peacefulness of no wins; a leaving of satisfaction to both of us.  Yes, it leaves us with a satisfaction of being able to voice our needs of saidness and may lead to inside humor; a gentle humorness cleverness so to say. Yes, a voice; an accordance of two voices, saying and listened and vice-a-versa.  All in all, we are both catching a whiff of the points and are available to come up with an appropriate outcome because of the real essence behind it all; which is the deep caring allowing bickering to be a voice. Yes, this does bring me comfort.

Now karma, I do see bickering as a two person institution.  I do see bickering, real bickering as involving only 2 people of foundation.  Anything else, becomes something else.  Call something else what you want, but it will evolve bickering into another space. I do understand that, but I see love underneath my type of bickering. I see you as the space of allowance, but I am using that space as another natural embrace as long as we keep with fair play, even that has to be in our understanding I know. I also know I must keep my heart open without remorse in order to keep this form of you going.  I also know that it takes a good look at love because it may bring you up karma, into the foreground, as you are all an experience.

So, I am in here Karma with you, into expressing each bickering session coming upon me within the freedom of Spirit Play. Let me keep it this way; until I change my vibe that is.

Forever Me,                                                                                                                                                      Cher                                                                                                                                                           “Minds Will Matter”

 

 

Karma, are you the Presence within Presents?

Yes, its present time now. But this time of our year, it’s the BIG and LOTS of presents. Time to give, time to buy, time to spend, time to be there and time to hurry!

Of course, it always seems like present-give- time, counting the everyday presents such as Hallmark Holiday presents, graduation from every grade now presents, new house presents, all different types of shower presents, new baby presents, new couple presents, wedding presents, anniversary presents, anything you can think of presents, just to be nice presents, and of course, everyone was born so everyone has a birthday present to celebrate the day they were born and of course again, any excreta’s you can think of now-a -days Karma.  As you bring me into your thinking within your presence Karma, I am within my honesty in saying that the one-on-one presents do have reasoning’s and celebrated reasons with plenty of time for my selection with caring.

But again, what are the reasoning’s inside of this one-day of your mental, physical and money exhaustions, which you bring forth for me to concentrate on?

Karma, remember that this time it’s all these personal presents at one time! This is the time when I am stressing, looking for the appropriate presents for appropriate little and big people.  Karma, I am looking for something more from you today than bringing all this stress into my present life. You gotta have some point that I am not tapping into?

And Karma, time, it is passing by fast; I need more time to get everything done I need done and more time to grasp the essence of your yearly dilemmas. How does Santa do it? Can you allow me to de-stress; can you send me a formula?Oh – Are you Karminicing me Karma?

I am currently connecting with all the things I have experienced, know, see and hear; gotta get something for this and that, him or her, or someone’s emotions will hurt if you give one more than others or some get none, or gotta do better than that or I don’t have enough money for all of this and that, or here I go charging again, or maybe they will not like this or this is all getting so commercialized or everything costs so much more each year, or this is how big business gets me to spend or it’s the gimmick for the end of the year!

As you can see (if you can see that is) this is the time I am buying all these gifts and spending so much money on so many children and adults, yes all in one day and all at one time and for one day on my calendar. Christ! If he were here, I’m sure he would be one more added person on a new list, a just in case list! And yes, we are all family and friends, but what the heck does this have to do with all these gifts for one day? And for me to have all these feelings of obligations for one day, how can I not think of you Karma and what you are bringing as me?

Is there something more I can ask of you karma than these thoughts? Is this space of yours for some reason of yours for me? Can I feel differently karma? I am sensing that I can. I am now feeling a feeling, sweeping through me, of calmness, just for the asking. Just for the asking karma, are you bringing me more of yourself within my calmness? Just for the asking karma, I feel a shift within you; I feel the movement of your presence within me.

You know Karma, as I pay attention to my actions and intentions for these whole days, I can see my magic coming along side of me.

I feel you are interacting with me; that you have messages for me these days? Are these my days of your Karmic returns? A chance of all at once throughout these days? Because yes, of course Karma I am giving! Oh great, now I am fearing I have not given enough this year? What counts and what does not count as enough Karma? Hey! Are you now bringing to my attention that I am also receiving? That these days of giving and receiving all at once have purpose and that your presence here within all this attention, is to pay attention to my whole Days?

Look at the giving of my thoughts and think of my heart intentions that went into buying each present for these moments of my present moment, you say? Are you placing within me the reality of actions, even if I am hurrying; that actions take many forms for me? Am I hearing you correctly Karma; you are ever so faint somewhere coming out of nowhere?

The smiles, heart joys, expectations, thank yous and your- welcomes, decorations, foods, drinks, along with ceaseless appetites, surprises, boundless conversations, and hearty laughter’s is the presence you are bringing as karma thru me? Are you allowing me the realization of heightened emotions from the stings of the sadness’s, losses, bitterness or sorrows intermingled with joy for another chance of remembrance for some sweetness of gratitude back then and now and move on, my way? Are you bringing from your space the connections of happiness karma? Your connections that can be felt throughout me and all, as we gather?

And then there’s that tradition of preparing the right foods that seem to be always there for us. And then there’s the quenching of our thirsts as the plentiful digestive absorption. Are my thoughts wondering about that magic that there is really always enough? Then there’s the gatherings and talks as we are all sharing in the preparations. Is this the space of your presence of opportunity for energy of love itself and how this can bring the good stuff by working together in the spirit of love? And then there is the servings…how may I serve you my friends and family, you say karma? Are you whispering to me that you serve through every gathering and through every nourishment brought through me and them? You are the presence of all presents; I hear you say Karma within my calmness. Is this the magic of our cosmic connection? Are you bringing these presents within your presence?

Karma, are these the days of consciousness for so many allowance of joy all at once through-out time? Are these the days of celebration from the heart, wherever this may take me? Are these days of a sacred connection for so many coming together as one essence of prayer?

Karma, are these the offerings of devoted tenderness I bring to this one big gathering as outward symbolisms of appreciation of being born within my life space? And what holds truth for me holds truth for you karma?

Karma, I now feel that these are the days that I am able to watch love gather amidst the presence of all our essences and manifestations.

Karma, you are Karminicing me and family and friends and strangers alike!   Got you here!

Forever me,

Cher

“Minds will Matter”

My dear Karma, you just showed me reasons for saying thank you, but how did this happen?                                                                                                                              You allowed me the quickly accessible vision and feeling of knowing I am thankful for those people I have known to be around me, as well as all their differences. Karma, is this the oneness of openness?  Of course at the time, and many times at that, I could not see this; today I can after retrospect.

Not that I haven’t done the work throughout the years, Oh Lordy, you know I have!  Trying to make right by your never ending presence karma, I’ve selected those persons I thought I needed to hold on to, to release, or forgive, or run from. But this was not always done from openness, mostly done from judgments; but who knew?

I’ve handled my experiences as allowing others to grow through their own way or even understanding why they needed me away.  But all along, I felt I picked and chose these encounters, mainly because there have been so many people I have come across during my lifetime. I find that I endeavor to reckon with those “I” felt were important.    I just never got that full thought karma that I always had something to learn from each encounter. Or that you brought all these people into my life.  Or that each was for me as an experience of me, as me, as my interactions for me; what I do with these people matter. Or where I open up or close up your essence of thanks or no thanks is up to me. Didn’t dawn on me that with every person, place or even thing, I will become my thought of acceptance or rejection according to my awareness of expansions. My thoughts are today placing me with giving thanks to this part of your essence and may lead me to a choice of thanks for my passing through and out of the experience, or the thanks of living through my experience to the end. Wonder karma, if the more I practice, the easier it gets? To touch your openness of thanks while living my busy life I mean?

Karma, maybe because the whole atmosphere of thanks is opened right now, you have given me a holistic glimpse. So this is one karmic revelation I have to be thankful for. I see it as getting into the space of reviewing back with everyone, I mean everyone deeply, all in one glimpse! I can open up my senses today with the realization that everyone is due my thankfulness; even if it is the thanks of hello and goodbye, I know you now. Everyone has a role with me. No matter if it is for a minute or a lifetime or somewhere in between, it is for me. Somehow, it is all for my help; no matter if I got it or not, if I liked it or not, if I even saw it or not, because it was within your breath karma, a reflective connection.

 By the way, not that I am at the genius level of all awareness as people are happening to me. But karma, it just makes a difference in being available for the one glimpse of closeness within us all. You’re offering me the ability to see differently when I am in the thick of being in the face of people-based-adversities with looking into a thankful place. Please note that some of the time I can see it as a wee thankful place! LOL! But to be able to feel the essence of thanks is a whole different feeling; a wee thankful place needed in which I am able to find myself in as I am happening to this. But I am realizing the need to identify this thankfulness here (on earth) while I look at my people-to-people daily interactions. Let me tell you Karma, this space of thankfulness as I see and feel it now, is just that, a space; another essence of space that needs openings in order for me to step within.

Hope this stays with me.

Is this the openness of liteness I may invite into my living reality? Is this also you karma, bringing me this limitless honesty? Is your openness of Thank You all here as a gift to me by your make up of essence Karma? Me knowing this may be enough. Just to keep this in my remembrance may be the bringings of good things sent forth from you Karma. So I can say thank you to all that I love, have loved, hate, have hated, known, met, or brushed through within a space; because you all have purpose. And from me, it is all my karma in knowing you. And visa-versa.

Forever Me,                                                                                                          Cher                                                                                                              “Minds will Matter”

I feel the “thing” you are bringing me called depression is much deeper and wider than I can comprehend. Is this an addiction which has the ability to comfort my agreements? Why are you here Karmic-depression? I am under the understanding that you do not come unless asked for and opened through acceptance. Do I ask for your bringing’s because of some comfort? Do I keep asking for more? Do I keep hanging on to your every word now? Does one word and its vibrations lead me into another vibration until it all makes sense to me? Am I now making sense of this depression as good? Am I keeping my searches going within the course of the victimhood I needed so my courage can guide me your way? Does this form of living even require courage or does this form of living require release from living, or an amount of both? Am I now excused from happiness of life because of comforts and excuses I am creating for your returns of depression? In my asking of you karma, did you intrigue me one step at a time, each time I begged for more satisfaction as I grew to know you as an emotion? And did you send me cooperative companions in order to fulfill my paradise Karma? Is my heart now beating to your rhythm, my mind with your understanding, my body to our acceptance, and is my search for well-being now coordinating my soul with depression?

Am I asking for an understanding that cannot be had? After all, I think you step on or onto everyone during life, right?  How do I get this taste of you? How do I not get this taste of you? It has been said that all great-thinkers have tasted you, as well as all great none-thinkers. How is my mind allowing this side of your entrance? How does my mind allow your destructive waves to flow into my world? Do I get a choice with my emotions and feelings on how deep I want to feel this confused yet familiar impact of my creations onto my realities?

My most cherished thought of you Karma, is the rest I can acquire from you when I have this need to get through and past this shock I have encountered within. You allow me a chance to rest within a small amount of your space in order to depress and slow down my weakened or disheartened mind, body and soul. I can feel this space as restful and quiet. Here, I do realize in my heart that I can not stay with you too long as this vibration, but I also know that it will hurt my heart as I must step away and get on with another cycle of living. It still feels nice to not have to think about the outside world and only carry the thoughts locked within my mind for this moment. I do know Karma, you will be ready for me as I move on to whatever I am able to reach for once again. Here, I am thankful for your rest and the rest of my story.

I am feeling that you will keep feeding me every significant thought-process in order for me to taste every flavor until I am fully satisfied.  Any and all worries are answered with gusto, any frights are answered in true panics and any guilt’s are answered in diverse shame.  Thus, all my systems begin seeking for the comforts of dissatisfaction, including all feelings of loss, unworthiness, brokenness, and poverty which are there for your fulfillment. Will anything capable of allowing me to stay in this space void the goodness of searched-for emotions once known?

How do I find a new way of asking? Karma, are you the one bringing to me tiny glimpses of new explorations I may pursue when I am able to view them? Are you letting me know that I must now take the control for even my thoughts? Have you been asking me all along not to diminish the value walks along my way of looking for the good in things, of listening for the optimistic and the encouraging words within the sentences of my hearing or of communicating the positive-learned words throughout opportunities of my speaking? Has it now come to this NOW of being given the opportunity of hanging on to my life with all the things I have thus created onto my soul? Are you saying that now, in these times of depressions, is the time when all the Good, Happy, Nice, Kind, Loving, possessions stored within my soul can be remembered and drawn upon as the good I invite within my life in order to bring my life into this remembrances of Goodness again?

Then again, listen Karma, in another of your many forms I am understanding that sometimes, I feel this void, this absence of anything, into an introduction of nothingness. With this one Karma, I feel the danger of not finding a solid word for the capability of hanging on within these walls of only invisible abstracts. This one is the invite to lose myself into this space of emptiness. I find myself searching for that way back into a humanity by finding some newly absence of sense within my race- mind. I vision conceptions that are now these intangible pictures trying to evolve with me. I sometimes make this void the definitive completeness of wickedness. I sometimes make this void combinations or collections of masses, of colors, of blending’s of unknown illustrations which I would not be conscious of if I were in a world of some kind of grounded state.  Within this absence of being, I find the sacredness of delving into no-thought, no expectations, no time, no hope, just a space of gray, sometimes different shades of black. This ambiance brings me in and out, leaving me with intense feelings of fear of this unknown NoThing; the loss of who I am. Karma, are you yelling within inside that I am in the process of creation, the process of creating who I am for my new Now! Are you gently reminding me to create the scream of either Love or Fear; whichever is my comfort and whichever I can ask for will be answered by my most predominate learned intensions? Are you building my confidence here so I may feel the comforts within this prism? On the other side of the coin, are you re-building my confidence here so I may reemerge with some kind of new understanding of how I no longer love the dimension I created by taking on these nothing-of-value things and using my thinking upon a new construction of wonderment for the promises I can remember by grabbing upon hope? Also, are you bringing me some friends of help? These people that are showing up as my creations, as my order of self I have now become, are they from you Karma? Are they tangible or intangible or is this also up to my consciousness of creation? Are you saying they are my now company and to watch as each creation shows me where love can be found?

Are you there Karma, behind me, whispering, telling me, once I invited you in as the depression of desire, it is time for me to choose?

And here we go, just one jump deeper into a despair concepts of my choosing; the continuance of my choices which will lead me into my own death which I call suicide. What is this Karma? May I consider this the road leading to my ending? May I consider this an opportunity offered by you? May I consider this one of my life choices of so many journeys? May I consider this an end to a pain which I have befallen on? What? You are whispering to me, what is there left to explain? Each movement was my opportunity of energy and strength into a form of human evolvement? But now with each attempt, I have this concept of all that I have become and the leaps which are now my requirements are exhausting my soul to a purpose of obtaining that which is the easiest to obtain. What is that saying to me Karma? That you are bringing something upon me or that I am giving-up in effort and releasing myself unto whichever is there for my easiest listening?

My justification being that there is the pain of this illness; whether it is the pain of this physical illness or this mental illness, it still considered an illness, right? But by getting to this place of comfortable so- called suicide, you are giving me the opportunity of listening to my thoughts, although it is becoming harder for me to evaluate each thought. I can listen to them all coming with me now, in togetherness and I can feel myself becoming my thoughts, not my thoughts transforming me into something of my choosing anymore. For that matter, the quality of choices I remember once having, I can’t remember anymore! But Karma, are you being very insistent now that it is my time to choose; Always the choice is mine- is the beat within in my heart?

Karma, because you allow so many avenues of exploration within you, I am yearning for the sense of life’s calmness. Now looking into that, I am wondering if you are as attractive as I once thought since I cannot find neither calm nor peace here. I would not call you a familiar scent, I would call you an unfamiliar odor. I find myself awaiting your next trace of space brought to me, not at all allowing me the opportunity of expressing  our next encounter. May I call you the anxiety before my fallen calmness?  Maybe I still do not know what it is I am looking for? Maybe I needed to delve into you in order to get out of you? Maybe I am lost in my own spaces of choices and you just seems like the easiest?

Maybe you always seem so attractive until you don’t?

Forever Cheryl

“Minds will Matter”

 

I’m back once again Karma, let’s get simple; me and you.

So karma, I can picture you as holding some representation of unlimited two-sided Coins; is that you?  Each Coin contains two sides, yet still only one Coin.  Do you place each Coin within our being upon our birth? Placed within our minds for sights? Maybe that’s the shinny parts of me I can relate to? But, is that one Coin called you  Karma?

Or, let me do the Ocean-Water thingy everyone talks about. You know, the one about the “All” being the Ocean, we are but those shinny sparkly drops of the Ocean and are still parts of the one-big Ocean. So does that mean Karma, I may call you those Waves which flow, flowing in and out of me? Is that how I get to sparkle; you giving and taking, me receiving and giving?  Are you the endless amounts  of your flowing movements within, the listenings in me of you for my chosings,  then the movements of my choices during the mighty swim.   Is that you Karma?  The waves of allowance with the natural-magic of the whole inside of you for my  best of learnings?

It feels to me like when I flip my you-coin, or when my awareness is keen enough to feel your waves stirring within, I am able to look through your eyes, based upon my visions of course.

If you are my coin,  it seems you allow me to either look at my chosen you-side by holding you at arms length with curiosity or bringing you as close as I can and examine your every detail.

If you are my wave, it seems you allow me to either use you as the refresher of my body and let me slide onto  shore, or bring me in with that big one tumbling, giving me the chance to feel and appreciate each and every zap of energy I never realized was involved in thankfulness of breath and safety.

Karma, what is the natural-magic contained withing both sides of these coins or the sizes of your waves, which are your survival?

Are you both,  the you-Coin and the you-Wave; that big-Love which encompasses  the completeness of every emotion or though or energy or space?

Are you both,  the you-Coin and  the you-Wave, that bigger Nothingness which allows the encompassment of the big-Love ultimately for our heaven’s sake?

So Karma, is there really no individualment? Maybe only two sides of the same coin? Maybe only the gentle or rough toss of all waves?

I see Karma;

your still my Karma, my hates, my Karma, my loves.

Forever Cheryl

“Minds will Matter”

I need a word with you Karma, about my Family Dynamics

Okay, in order to blog on this, I must have evolved into some kind of belief, right Karma? I do not expect my bloggers to agree with all of my knowledge, so here is my say.

Have to look back Karma, and ask how important this is to me, the Family, and what does this has to do with you? Why am I sensing that my family plays an important part from the beginning of me? What is the family demonstrating for my acknowledgement? I know there are so many instances of Love and Hate throughout my family life times and the thought of Karmatic revenues has never entered my mind. So as the story goes…. In the Beginning there is Karma and Family.

 Well Karma since I am really my soul looking and living as me, why does Good make family so important to me? I mean, if family is so integrated within every aspect of me, typically I am not an independent being, right? Meaning, I have all these family ties within and without. Is your dream for me the same dream for my family? Let me know Karma, is this an energy entrapment? LOL, I call it an entrapment because as a baby I did not have a whole bunch of choices going on for me in order to create more of you Karma. After all, you are the reap what you sow energy. So I must have already created my returns in order to place myself in the vibration to create more good and better, right Karma? Or for that matter,  I was being too young to create bad or worse for me, right Karma? My mind is feeling that your force must be bigger than I can imagine by now!

Karma, might you be hinting that every mindful thought of mine will always place me within the choosing of creation? Of us (me and you) creating my Karma?

Gotta say, the bigger the family, the Bigger (more choices, confusion, comfort zones, likes and hates etc., etc., etc.,) to choose from my dear, as I see it. So many more ego-based perceptions, all coming out of the 2 egos that were allowed the capability of bringing me into this world. (Oh Lordy, thinking about it, I really was not in the greatest of thinking when I brought my children into this world! Are you Grace-built-in too?)  Then, add the steps of more stepping-stones for growth and oh brother Karma! Does this mean I will work myself into me, either way of Good or Confusion, bringing it all back to me? Or depending on where my mind will take me? And Karma, it seems that this DNA thingy that I am born into, also has this big hold on me.  This is a lot that is asked of my soul Karma, coming into this world of opposites with all these choices, and then dealing with ego’s, plus all my physical DNA dealings too? So Karma, is all this family intermingling within me really what I asked for in order to just Live?  I mean really Live this life of emotions, feelings, minds and this inherited body with all the trimmings that come with my choice? I am now at a place of, OMG, it all counts! Did I want to be born in order for me to be able grow with all these people around me in order to Live my life with all my physical attributes and these examples surrounding me? Are you telling me that since I do have energy gifts to work with; look at how I want to live and just LIVE through my life’s choices?  What is the meaning of ‘it is in the giving that I am receiving’? Do you mean Karma, that whatever thought, emotion, word, action and energy I give out unto my world of family, you will be there to feel, listen and return that movement? Maybe through them and maybe through anyone? Lots of chances huh? Does that mean my intensions and vibes better be for your good side if that is what I expect as the return from sender? So, I guess if my intensions and vibes are hurtful, vengeful, bitter, insensitive, and stubborn, I should expect this return from sender also?  Oh, I think I am getting clearer with you, the messenger, that you have no limit on possibilities for returns.

So Karma if I had choices before I entered into this world, why did I not choose the Best? With all these guides, angels, teachers, energies, good, and you around, I must have had so many choice of families to be born into! I feel I was born into a big learning soup of people! Now Karma did you or Good give me options, or did that flying bird just sweep me up and attach me? Oh now you’re asking me, who is this Best family I am talking about? Well, now that I think about this best?! I think I would have to keep the family I hate in order to keep the family I love around me? Could it be you are telling me there are no accidents? Vibrations are Vibrations huh? Like attract Like huh? It’s all in the Soup?

I guess it might be that I came in with you Karma?  What an interesting concept. Oh yes, that we are melded! So, you are a part of my family Karma; a silent participant of me, but a part never the less or never the more? I am thinking this means I have a whole world of me you are holding right? With Lots of vibrations of me right? Maybe that means lots of intermingling to unmingling? It might give me lots of stuff to create with!

Oh Karma, are you showing me that as I was born, my families taught me group energies? They taught me to; talk, shut-up, walk, sit, play, eat, drink, dance, laugh, pray, cry, separate, belong, hurt, give, fight, share, release, love, hate, die, hide, learn, listen, think, lack, make decisions, imagine, wonder? Taught me; mannerism’s, thankfulness, idleness, kindness, stress, excitements, meanness, freedom, manners, jealousies, guilt, discipline, laziness, truthfulness, lying, respect, shame, richness, joyfulness’, forgiveness, violence, relief, awareness, emotions, excitement, wealth, lack, confidence, habits, rituals, pain, fear, comfort, strength, anger, laughter, depression, patience, rudeness, calmness, bossiness, madness, intelligence, calmness, sadness, happiness and all and every experience I can experience during the beginning of my Living A Life? And the wisdoms I selected to intergrade into my being was for MY use for the attractions in this world of energy with all I contribute? And are you whispering that I am here because I did want to Live? Live through all of it, all of my experiences until death do I part from this Life? Are you asking me Karma, that if I can realize with all the strengths and weakness of families, I can chose to bless us all for whatever learnings came to me, if accepted of course? Are you breathing within my breaths that my experiences should have me reaching for my evolvement through every opportunity I am given through you? That all my early experiences were for me to use for maybe just one small act of wisdom or kindness, thus shape-shifting the energies into all things better?  Kind of harsh stuff you allowed sometimes Karma? But Karma, if all the above is part of living, I think you might be showing me that I am not in my state of mind called heaven, I am in my state of mind called Living, correct? So to Live this Life now!  Are you always demonstrating to me how I am able to create Goodness or Badness beginning within my family birth? And how your very Force Karma, is there through and with me and everywhere and nowhere; bringing with you loving awareness according to my understandings, trial, tribulations and triumphs alike? Interesting…..

Now, don’t get me wrong, I guess we all think we were in competition on getting here on earth; born as we say. But Karma, could you say families may be all in the same connection plan of energy manifestation? Maybe my families are that like-attracts-likeness thing, this Law of Attraction you and me are and bring about? Oh Brothers! Oh Sisters! Oh Mothers! Oh Fathers!  Is that why I matched from the beginning and I can understand and relate or even tolerate each other’s actions until I was strong enough to release one choice for another or begin to question my old self in order to move into a newness? Oh Karma, are you now telling me that you function within family and me always? Might you say that I manifested my body into this life-land of energy in order for me to experience a life within my soul until I am the Clearness? That no one, including me, can escape you Karma? No-way, in any-way because you are the energy ingrained in everything we see and do not see, everything we know and do not know, in all unlimited possibilities’ even when we are too young to see? I say getting to know you Karma is bringing us closer.

Listen on Karma…….

Again Karma, what if my family is wild with untamed emotions, actions and reactions? What if my family is full of it? What if my family is making up their own realities based on what they were able to comprehend and expressing those realities as my heaven and hell Karma? Karma, what if my family is always based on survival mode. What if my feelings with my family have left me with a kind of reserved love, or a deep love or an unspoken family guilt or an every-so-often strength for me to do better or a hope for everyone, or a hate for some, or happiness for some? What if this has left me with feelings of both;  a sorrow for them for things not learned and a happiness for things I see as learned? Karma, where was your part of Saving Grace as I was growing-up and needed you then or even now? It seems to me Karma that I need to find a way to release your energy of turmoil and place myself within your energy of happiness. I try to learn at least peace within, for some rest.  What do I have to do to at least reap wherever I am going with consistency Karma? How do you listen to me? How do I let go of the harshness of my relations with these people? I am afraid when I voice my opinions, the brawls will be brutal and then we fall deeper into an abyss. I do not want the return of harshness and I need guidance from you.   I am so often left with feelings of despair and I do not want these to be communicated to you and returned by you once again. Well again Karma, we as family do have many good times, good conversations, and great gatherings too. So….Karma, will my good, nice, and kind family interaction delete my cruel interaction? Are you transmitting a No back to me? Are you whispering  to simply forgive myself, to move on through my intensity of this forgiveness and To Grow with the learns?

Again Karma, what if my family is Tame and Mellow, simple folks, working daily simple work, one step at a time in order to live. How can I now live these advanced times when all I have been taught is to be simple and now must live in a world that is no longer simplified?  I think my karmic returns should be good ones, since I stayed within your laws of simplicity? I did not want more than my share, only my share! Since you cannot forget about me, how am I to live in this world as it has now become and not give out all my vibrations of despair, stress, and hopelessness for the rest of my long life? This is all my family taught me! I went on to work the best I could in the ways I could. I, as a laborer, was able to make money and bring home food for me, my partner, and my family.  In now-time, this is not sufficient. Where are my sufficient returns or what do I need to do to cash in my good deeds from my old simplicity life style? I know you must have a plan for me, a simple folk, to help me out with this. Could it be that I just die off? Sometimes that just seems easier. Could it be that I am not understanding my Karma? Are those that I have helped along the way now there to help me out and give me the answers?  Could it be Karma that those I did not help will not help me, thus another way of demonstration of your reaping? But Karma, what if I did the best I could along the way? I do not know exactly what you are now placing before me, is it the demonstration of my actions, words, and deeds? Is this also a mixture? Karma are you revealing to me the way I have helped myself thus far, and placing upon my shoulders the burden of revelation? Are you saying to me that your help to me is the realization that the love within help comes thru many resources? And throughout my looking I will find it, even through the simple way I grew.  Are you assuring me it will come my way in a simple way of being but maybe even a different kind of demonstration from your returns from my choices? Are you telling me to just look differently? Hope I have enough time left on this earth to get my life good again and hope my time will be happier for me Karma.

Again Karma, what if my family is rich with wealth, taught and enabled me to conquer my world one step at a time in order to live the life I am now accustomed to? Why would I need to learn anything else if I have everything I need? I don’t need anything from anyone since I can pay and ask for anything I need in this world and it will be given to me, right Karma? Just like the Bible says, ask and you shall receive, I got that! So Karma, am I done with you? Is it just my say-so all the way? I think I have been shown all I need to know in this life, I am doing just fine? Is there something else I need to do besides be rich? Are you happy? What more can I ask for Karma? Are you saying to me that even this takes awareness?

Again Karma, what if I am born with any form of disability which has made me work really hard in order to simply live in my world? I am trying my best to move or communicate or learn or work or play; the things I see others taking for granted as normal. Of course I am building up bad thoughts, is that worse reaping’s for me Karma?  I am just different than those around me. I may move differently or think differently which is making it difficult for me to understand that which “they” call the norm. I am not asking for much; just for you to be easy on me. Maybe I have parents full or grace, Maybe I have parents full of anger, Maybe I have none that I know of. Maybe I have parents and relatives and friends and acquaintances that move up and down this vibrational scale, both with me and within their lives. So Karma, did I reap this need of being taken care of much differently than normal? Will this become a blessing or a curse for me? And how can I receive this as Good when it feels harder? Am I still required to be the person with the happy thoughts and words and actions for my next reap? Will you still bring me a dream?  Can I just get my good deeds now? How can I possibly earn good deeds from you when I have only enough energy to live day through day and frustration comes in and out of me? Are you whispering that those around me have the opportunity of learning kindness, helpfulness, gratitude?   Are you breathing to me that everything around me has a Karmic experience?  Mine is just one different experience, it’s all experience? Are you breathing to me that everyone around me is having a Karmic experience? Are you breathing to me that this is my experience of being and seeing and feeling and expressing out onto this world for now? Are you breathing to me that as I live this experience one way, this way will lead to another and one thing will lead to another and since I know enough to ask, it will start an evolvement? … Are you breathing to me to do the best I can and it’ll be over in a heartbeat since I am the energy?

Now Karma, what if I am born with an illness, right from the get go? How did I come in with that?   I do not see this in my family?Why would you cast that upon me? How can my suffering ever be for the betterment of me since there seems to be more hurt going on than happiness?  Some family members help me, some look at me with pity, some ignore me. I must say, I give back all different attitudes back, and I cannot say I feel bad about it Karma! Where is this taking my soul, I feel it hurting with me? How do I get to the place where I can earn your good deed in order to end my suffering here and now? Surely I didn’t do anything worse than them, and they are loving and healthy and brimming with happiness? Are you and I experiencing living as an illness together? Are you using my manifestation as the solid vehicle for my living illness? Karma, could this be about the living organism we call Illness that is growing into clarity? An organism, an ordinary fascinating organisms that is here learning, yet needs a body to live with for its own learning experience. Oh, maybe my organism is also here for the advancement of mankind’s doctors?! Really Karma?!  Just a strange though of possibilities that was from a world of unlimitedness clearness. Why do some say “do not fight the dis-ease, love with it” and some say “fight it with all your might”? Am I supposed to fight or love your returns Karma?  Or, maybe your silence is revealing to me the miracle of facing my so-called-being-of-illness and allowing me an endless possibility of filling my illness with the calmness, peace, and love that is within you, bringing illness toward health? Is this a way of dispersing more health into a living illness Karma? Is this my lesson and/or my opportunity as well as the family lesson and/or opportunity? Does this have to do with my ability of being friends with family and others with my same illness and help each other thus easing up my external frequencies?  Is this a way of clearing energies Karma?Help begets help? I must inform you Karma that I know I have a strong soul in order to hold this body together!  Karma, do you realize my body is in pain in order to live? Anyway Karma, how do I elevate my thoughts in order to live my life in peace and vitality, as I see it all around me? How do I live as illness and progress with love? Could it be the opportunity in “time” to dig deep inside, be at one with my intuition and reach for the understanding of my cause? Looking at myself this way is a tough one Karma. Since you are energy Karma, a force, as I understand you at this moment, I am thinking I will be in greater peace through you if I stay in touch with my thoughts of calmness and loveness. Correct? The thought of allowing the good to come through my bad? This will create a new understanding for my energy of dis-ease and its’ clearing. This is one Interesting concept of unlimited possibilities brought back to me because right now Karma, it is hard for me to think of these possibilities. I can say, a day at a time can get me through a thought of faith for a miracle. Will my thoughts bring unto me a Karma miracle? Are you vibrating to me to think very careful thoughts, time after time? That my soul is available for thought vibration? That one-thing-will-lead to another from you, thus all others will follow? Are you calling my body and its workings ‘others’ Karma? You brought me into a tuff one! I can say again, I spend most of my time thinking about me and not about my family. I can say, I think they should all be thinking about me, but most don’t. Do you think I need to take the love from those that love me and dwell on that? I am getting fear about my future. Will I reap a future from you Karma? Did you place around me a family that will always take are of me Karma? Fear is truly an overpowering emotion, how do I release that? Are you saying the strength is in the positive?

Again Karma, what if my family is filled with intelligence and teaches me the learning’s of ways some can only dream of?  Now comes to me the presence of creating whichever talent I can for inner satisfaction, thus bringing upon me your reaping’s of mental satisfaction. This seems such an easy way for me because intelligence begets any form of intelligence I want, thus I am fulfilled with my choices. How did I earn this choosing of family Karma? Maybe some others would like to know?  But then again, this may bring along with it many choices of attitudes if I am not mistaken. I may choose to bring attitudes to the forefront with my family dealings and my family may choose to do the same. We may agree or disagree. We may be allowing ourselves to bring karmic outcomes with every intellectual thought process brought to mind.  And here we are, just the same as everyone else within family, showing proof of every family members Karmic decisions! This demonstration happens to be though all our intellect, but it will still be available for me and all the world to decipher when studied. Hope we as family create good spaces in each other lives. Likely we will because we can realize we need each other; learned it.

One more time Karma, but I’m sure it’s not the last. What if I am growing up in a family that is really just enough. What if I can’t really see or am even understanding how we all grow? What if we are not perfect at all, as a matter of fact, nether me nor they know what that is!  It’s like we , including me, just roll with the punches and without the punches. I can’t really say what we do to deserve this or deserve that, we just get it; some bad and some good comes.  I live through the giving and taking, heartbreak and happiness, and they live right along with me and each other. I mean Karma, sometimes its tuff, sometimes you bring it on easy, but you do bring it on. What is it Karma that makes me seem like normal? Is it because through this all, I can talk it out and there will be someone in family to listen? Is it because they can talk it out and they will have someone to listen? Is it simply because we have allowed some kind of closeness, thus you have brought the energy back to us of more closeness? Could it be that we somehow  have looked for the love in each other so you have brought that love vibe back to us; something me and them can step into? Could it be that once we get into that caring space of yours and receive it back and forth, it is hard to forget so we keep looking for it? Could it be that the good time are like the miracles you bring back to us because we are looking for the good time within each other? Could it be that the bad times I bring on to myself are only what I can know, and yet I still am instilled with the confidence of knowing the good vibes I had learned, thus, making it easier to remember the feel of that frequency? Could it be that the whole family works that way with you? Could the Miracle be that maybe I am learning to look for the positive in my family, and they are learning to look for the positive too, and even when I skip a step, they hold the me up and vice-a-versa. Could it be Karma, that you are there to hold us up or down, whichever way we want to go?

Well Karma as I focus, we are so involved into family that there is more intermingling than meets the eye. It is all the universal concept. But, for me, the smaller mind of learning, this requires more of being thankful for my Life through family. It may take much mind work to evolve, but I can see that I am given the freedom to do so or not, through out all circumstances.

So Karma are you the extreme Guidance once again? Might it mean that we may have to live into many possibilities  for the experience of it all??!

Forever Cheryl

“Minds will Matter”

Hello, it’s me again. Now, how about me Karma, as the older homeless dad but also having children I can rely or impose upon.  If you can understand, times have changed and just by me being able to live off this land for so long, there is no way I can get back into the swing of new things! I have scrambled every morning surviving my hungers, the elements, and my body pains; get it? I have talked every day to the trees, my friends, the strangers I get from,  the animals and rodents, the waters, the fruits and vegetables, and then there are these people that give me food and once in a while shelter when I can make it over there.  Now you see, I cannot make my living anymore by being in a four cornered house, with a family and trying to live and talk with family again. Too much is required. I am my own person, and they need me to change to be one of them again. Even if they let me come and visit, I still can’t be one of them and talk about something or dress to their preference. I now have Less than them and yet nothing they have makes me want that or makes any sense to have. As a matter of fact, anything they say to me does not matches with anything I know or need to know. I will take money, but not too much so my friends in my world will not hurt me in order to take it; so give me just enough.  Seems living life is all relative. So Karma, understand me and do not punish me for being on my own now. Karma, do you think some kind of family can just come around and bring me little bucks once in a while to keep me going? I do deserve that don’t I? They gotta find me first! Of course, I stay in one place a long time, so I am not that hard to find. I do have my own space; my space of lessness. Can you make it easier for me and have them give me some money? Or does my state of homelessness repulse their states of being? Could there be really truly a truth to this energy compatibility thingy which puts persons in these states of acceptance or rejection? Do you think my looks, smell, and actions are the reasons their thoughts ignore me now?  Maybe your telling me that giving little tries with talking to family might lead up to better things with family or less rejection? It’s hard to step into their space when I have nothing to offer, and I do mean nothing. Of course, this may take more work than I’m willing to give?

I am thinking that it is okay to die this way, homeless. After all, we all go into the ground in some form or other, I just might be getting used to it faster than others. Do you think I will just be ready to die, when others may be fighting death? Could that be a reason I am homeless?  Thinking again, no, because as I look around, others sure look like they are enjoying life and I can tell you that my enjoying life is only a faint smile every now and then. Where and what are my reasons for enjoying anything Karma? I am sure I deserve some type of enjoyment once in a while Karma, everyone does here, right? Can you send some my way? Are you telling me you do? Just look for it? I am telling you that you don’t, you need to look!

Me somewhere again, this time as a homeless mom. The following is both my explanation and questions to you Karma.  As you know, I worked all my life but as you can see, life goes on and all thing evolve. There must be a reason why we have to keep trying and trying to keep up with the ongoing evolvements, but many of us can’t. You see, the things we learn, no longer apply to life. Life just evolves at this faster pace, leaving us behind until we are considered the dinosaurs of old times. There must be a reason that I am being left behind? Can you name this reason for me Karma? What good does it do to learn as the child, teenager, and adult?  Now you are bringing upon me more complications as an adult, but you are moving so fast that what you gave me to learn thus far, is not applicable anymore.  So look, I stopped learning because you know, I became a wife, mother, single with all its obligations! But you see Karma, my learning did expand in these ways, but it sure is not doing any good now! How am I homeless when I have done all the things you have asked of me Karma? I have been dealing with the things I now know and eventually, this is not enough! Why did you stop bringing upon me the things I needed just to survive? There came this point where the youngsters took over the world and I lost my way of earning my income. Yes, I struggled with the money I had in order to survive my long lifetime, by as you can see, all that is asked of me during my life is too much for me to handle now. I had me, once in a while my husband and children to support before, why am I not reaping those I seeds I sowed? Is that the way you say it works Karma? But I am homeless? Could it be those that I helped along the way are simply too busy living their lives, thinking of their lives, making up who they are and knowing only themselves and their families now? Are you revealing something to me Karma? Somehow, I am not getting it? Will I ever? The Lessness of my havings became more and more until I could see the less and less Lessness and became homeless at last.  Karma, how did I get here? I cannot find a way to get out. What do you have in store for me, and why? I cannot say I did anything wrong, just making a living, someway, became not making it. What could I have done any different in order that the Pendulum would not swing upon me, but for me?

You know, do you by any chance think that sharing my life with another person could have meant you Karma, sharing with me? IIs that what it means to give in order to receive? Is it like, never cease? I’m just saying that after I fulfilled my family obligations, wasn’t it time to think about myself?  Because I felt I did my part when I had the energy and strength.  Should I have been sharing myself with someone in order to receive more of what this sharing thing of yours accomplished? Is there something to the saying “I am not the only one”? You know by looking at it now, sharing myself with someone again would have made this life different. Is it that which is known to me as fear that had me alone? Is this a form of fear that has entered my thoughts about sharing myself now with whomever? Is this a form of fear which has brought me to this place of homelessness, simply stated; to become amongst who I am now?  A loner? Always looking over my shoulder for my own safety? Anything I would have done would have changed something; But who knew? Maybe even a step of saying hello to anyone, every day? But who knew? Are you showing me Karma that everything matters?

Now Karma; the drug, booze, and smoking thingy’s. Yes, I did my share, but so has everyone else. We all need a relaxation or two or three. As long as I’m not hurting anyone right? Oh, are you telling me to look at the energy these bring about for and to me? Are you telling me to look deep? Okay, but this will take a while. Another time, another story.

Now don’t get me wrong Karma, as I grow older I am inclined to think less and slower, which is all part of the Lessness I am creating. I can feel my aliveness working harder and harder to feel alive. I am breaking my body down faster because it does truly seem that every part is connected to each other part. I do know that I am joining everyone else as they grow old, Karma; it does holds true that everyone must die. But now I think that it is the way in which I spend every day which creates my feelings throughout each ending and beginning I came upon.

Looking back, I am living my life the way I chose. Life of responsibilities ending up being all for myself, knowing myself as this. I am looking out for me or those that I let into my world when I chose to or help if I chose too. I am the picker and chooser of my life. Karma, did I give others the chance of choosing for themselves without a fight? Do I make my own everyday, everyway choices from anger, remorse, fear, doubt; the Lessness choices? Did I allow myself to be the lover of their choices just because of love itself? Karma, did I love everything just as they were and let be? And Karma can you tell me, when anything affected me, did I just love for its own sake or did I judge each infraction, pain, misery, or joy? Can you tell me Karma, when exactly did I ever make the decision of having less?  Can you tell me Karma, when did I exactly make the decision of becoming Homeless?

Karma, why are each endings flooding me with gateways to more decisions? I can feel that each time I am taking with me that which I already know, this knowledge seems to be leading me to lessness and lessness. How do I get to the moreness and moreness?

Is this about love?

Forever Cheryl

“Minds will Matter”

Karma, now I am in your Space of Lessness, homelessness.

Alright Karma, I gotta really open my Mind up in order to get into some comfortable space with you. Somewhere in space we shall meet right? Oh yes, I know that most of me, the things I see, and the things I don’t see is mostly space. So this has my mind thinking, there must be so much space for me to play with and in! I must keep understanding that you are a force or essence or thingy and thus must flow along with all “things”. So differently are your rules than are the rules I’m stuck with, the regulations I adhere to, my learned attitudes or learned judgments. Could it be that maybe you are intertwined with the stillness; maybe you’re my movement? Hmm, that would be interesting, the movement which allows my moves, thus the dance!  Do I move within and through my own life, with you, us together, within that Stillness; not just coming at me as I had imagined you? How do I get in touch with my actions with you; are you saying no need?

Let me give you my thoughts and look at what you have coming back to me. Let’s get into me. Let me dig into some cosmic remembrances.

I walk through town in the mornings and I can see me, a homeless being sleeping on the ground; sometimes I would consider it too cold, sometimes I would consider it too hot to be on the ground. It’s not that fun, but I just find a place where I can be left alone at first. I am still now, deep into my misery, yet not really quite capable of defining my life as misery, only survival. Maybe that is just what happened, I just got tired of trying to understand everything?

I can walk outside, and I can watch myself as a homeless being walking around with my possessions and carrying on conversations with unseen beings (after all, I am talking to you Karma!).  I always seem to have company. I can go to the front of stores, and sit around talking to my friends; sometimes pleasantly, sometime angrily, depending on my mood. Sometimes I try to talk to “other” people I see.  They ignore me, so I find there is no use in trying.  With these ” other types”, I doubt if we have anything interesting to say to each other anyway, they bore me and I bore them!  They just don’t understand me. Maybe that is what happened, I just got tired of listen?  Maybe that is what happened, they just don’t understand me?

So, again, sometimes I can lay on the grass, or lay on a hard cement sidewalk, but I do not have an address.  Can’t be responsible for an address right now.  Maybe that is what happened, i got so tired of all that responsibility? Did you notice Karma, one responsibility  lead to another responsibility when I had an address?

Okay,  as I roam from place to place I leave my messes all around, I just leave them.  Let all who want to see, look at them, my messes!  I sure don’t remember caring, i only have myself to care about. That’s a good thing, right Karma?  Maybe that is what happened, I just got tired about caring.

I promise myself to be ready each day for each day. Whatever it takes I tell myself.

Sometimes I ask for money, what this society calls begging; sometimes getting some money, sometimes not. My problem right now is, I know I need money, yes, I know, but with each bone, it gets harder just to get up and beg. It’s like a well-meant script, just seems when times are harder out there for me, people are also harder.  So Karma, you know I need money, why aren’t you giving it to me, you see me beggin?  I’m not stealing when I’m beggin! Seems to me, begging is a force too. Do I have to beg more in order to get more in return? What does it take? Does it mean I must turn-my-cheek to the glares and evil looks, and concentrate on beggin for more? Cause right now that is all I can really do. You see,  I don’t work, I really don’t know how or where to go, or how to do it.  Its been such a long time since I have wanted to work.  Is this my problem? . I’m asking in order to receive, Karma, I’m following the law.  I see nothing wrong except the haves are not so giving which means I have to get hungry. You need to reward me Karma for doing the right things but it doesn’t feel like rewards if I need money to buy something I really need.  Maybe that is what happened, I just got tired of doing?

Sometimes I find myself going to places I know will feed me. Sometimes I can make it there, but as I grow older, sometimes I can’t. So I go without eating sometimes. Why do you not feed me every time I am hungry? I pass by restaurant windows and watch people eat all the time, yet I have no food. How is that decided for me by you Karma? If I bother people, sometimes I care and sometimes I don’t. Why don’t you  just force them outside to give me some of their food? What is wrong with you Karma, use that force for me!  How did I get to the place of hunger?  Maybe that is what happened, I just didn’t paying attention to my healthy fulfillment’s?

Sometimes I have to find places to clean myself up, but then again, my friends don’t seem to mind because I don’t seem to mind them.  But here, my point is, when I get too dirty, I need to clean up. Sometimes the dirt hurts my skin. Sometimes I can’t even stand my own smell because I still remember some smell of clean. What is allowing me to stay within this dirtiness and know this feeling Karma? Sometimes I just do not have any clothes left to put on. Just to cover myself. Sometimes I do not have clothes to keep me warm in the cold winter or protect me from the hot sun in the summer, whichever the case will be. Why Karma, are you looking at me and not allowing protection from the elements? The clothes I now have and carry are few, how are you not calling this judgement when I can see you giving the “others”  more than enough clothes.?  Maybe that’s what happened, I began being inattentive to my own appearance?

Do I scare people? Do I look different than “other” people? Most of the time I can’t really care, but once in a while I can remember I had a reason to care. Maybe that’s what happened, I just couldn’t deal with all that it takes to live up to appearances.  Many times, people, “others” and things were not as they appeared anyway.  Maybe that is just what happened, I wanted to appear as me and scare the hurts away?

And speaking of Mystic, Mother Nature herself, if I am living off of her land, why is she not helping me? She’s a Mother, why are you not allowing her to take care of me, one of her children, Karma? Why are you getting in her way? Or Gods ways or Grace and Mercy’s way for that matter? Are you stopping them from helping me for one of your strange reasons?Where is my help when she brings on the rain, or the storms,  or the hot sun, or the wind?  Why doesn’t she just make it perfect weather, she is perfect isn’t she?  Maybe i have never thought about how each season has a reason. Maybe I did not realize all it takes in order to keep this earth alive for me to live on in the first place. Maybe I had no gratitude to give then, simply by not looking?

Dear Karma, where is my family when I need them?  Would you not say, blood is thick?  Really, they did give me life, is that all there is?  Okay Karma, yes, I was raised up in an environment. I was a little rebel, but I was learning who I was to become, Right Karma? So are you saying this is what I learned and who to become?  Are you saying no one is responsible for me? Are you saying my attitudes of making no attempts to understand their plans for me, my lack of  respecting their places of address which they provided for me, my not caring about them or anything about them, the habits  they were attempting to instill in me in order to learn the discipline it takes to work in this real world that were unacceptable to me,  my attitude of taking my daily breads for granted, my carelessness for my daily hygiene,  the fears within me they were trying to calm within their safety and my way of fighting my fears without inviting their safety and the care they took upon me when I needed medical attention along with all the other life lessons, that my family, as a family, were using everyday to help us all get ahead, were not appreciated by me or that I felt no need to see?  Are you asking me to believe that it is now their choice to treat me as whom I have become? Are you now telling me Karma that I may have placed myself so far away from their energy requirements, that I am no longer seen as an equal member?  Karma, are you informing me that my family may finally be seeing and hearing and feeling me as who I am now? Are you saying they have grown into a dynamic that is now unrecognizable to me and vice-a-versa? Maybe this is what happens when I run so far away from family values, that I have no more?

True, some people looking at me will call me crazy or mentally disturbed within my brain functions. But,  I see these people as functioning and thriving within this society also as mentally disturbed! So how and why am I losing so much and how and why did I get a much slower functioning ability Karma? Was I born like this? Is this what one version of your cosmic principle means when it states that rewarding me or punishing me in this incarnation is done according to my deeds in my previous incarnation? If this is so, where do I get the opportunity to break this cycle? I am  not getting any better, only worse!  Maybe this is what  has happened, I have not been able to get past any disturbing issues this whole life time?

How about my illnesses Karma, these hurts and pains that I suffer from?  Each day I can feel my body system breaking down slowly but surely.  With all the other things that are working against me, how can my own body do this to me? How did this come about; for sure sickness is not asked for by me or by any one? Just exactly what do you have to do with this?  Is it true that each bad feeling and each good feeling causes a body reaction throughout living movements?  Maybe that is what happens when I did not care to take care of my body, not realizing it would have to last me for oh, so long?

How about my Mind,  Karma? Yes, I can admit this to you. I have drank a bottle or two of soft and hard drinks. Yes, I have consumed a pill or two of prescription and street drugs. Yes, I have  delighted in the intoxication  of some hallucinatory drugs or two. But, who hasn’t? Realistically wise, in order to get Wise, this is the way of Science, Right?  So, I am asking you, why is my mind forcing me to see my reality becoming narrower and narrower, smaller and smaller,  with very little choices left for me,  while Science is expanding all its views and outlooks?  Could it be that I am not meant to indulge?

Now Karma, what about my self-preservation? Have you ever thought about being a women and having to worry about living the homeless life? That’s a whole different set of worries all in its own! It’s a dangerous life, demanding for anything I own and at all costs. My life is harsh and full of dangerous situations and at times life threatening. I have to learn any forms of self-defense which totally changes me from who I was into whom I have become. Sometimes the dangers come onto me from my neighbors, sometimes from my friends, sometimes from authorities, sometimes from strangers. Oh, does this ever work on my mind, my body, and my soul. Maybe that’s what happened when I just let my self worth get chipped away, little by little and never fought for my own defense when I had the chance?

Here is the other question Karma, who am I now? Is it you that has regressed me into who I am? Do you keep laying things on me, one after another, like situation after situation, Karma after Karma until I am this beat up human being? How are you helping me, as I see you helping others?

Is this your idea Karma? As you see me, what would make anyone think that I would not try with all my might to be normal and live within this normal society?  Well, tell me Karma, what actually do you call a normal society? What if I sometimes like it here, in my society?  What can I be thinking? Then again, what am I doing to keep this homeless situation from going on and on and on? Because sometimes I don’t like it here. Why are you keeping me down and what did I do to bring this upon me? Well, when I want to come up that is. Maybe that’s what happens when I have no more goals and where I am at a moment that makes me feel like a blah…….?

Now, take one last look Karma. Take a long good look, do you see where it is getting harder and harder to live in this society as the norm anyway? I am not the only one. Jobs are being loss or adults are getting older and I cannot afford the new society; it’s not just my fault for living like this.  But why would you come down on me when it is not my fault?  Are you sending money, a home to live in, health, clothes, jobs, a new soul my way? Are you showing me Hope? Do you have hope for me Karma, when I need it?

Karma, you say you will never give me more than I can handle, right?       Maybe you’ve got a point there?

Now Karma, what about this Soul of mine? Is it OK?
While I am able to think, let me think back at how I was lead into this situation….to be continued.

Forever Cheryl

“Minds will Matter”

KARMA LOOKS LIKE THE WINNER

I was wondering if playing with you Karma would mean that I would have to discover your thought process in order for me to be the winner. Otherwise, right, you would win Karma! Not sure what I mean by that just yet; I have some learning to do.

Well the thing is, I want to win right and easy. Of course those in the know, all the gurus of all centuries, say that I must know exactly what I want!  I am gaining confidence that by getting close to you Karma I will get straight on what I wants and how exactly these wants will come about. In the same breath, I am gaining confidence that in getting close to you will get me straight on exactly on what I need to do so I do not attract the things I do not need to materialize both mentality and physically.

I’m still wondering how I get comebacks for All of my moves, you know, my Actions? I am using the word All because if it was me picking and choosing, I would be quite choosy. You gotta have eyes all over the places! You gotta have control of every grid of space within our world with some type of movement which flows at your command. You have to be some kind of perfection not known to our kind, sent to get to know me. Then, you have to be a stretcher in order to take care of every- other’s Actions. Oh the working of the powers that be.

There are so many people movements on this earth, how in the world can a Karma like you be aware of my moves, my Actions? I have come to my own conclusion that in order for me to play, we must be able to communicate. I think my actions are a one on one thing, me and you in some kind of a dance, a dance I am going to learn.

You know, when the student is Ready, the Teacher will Come. Well, Karma, I am ready, willing and able to learn you! I am also sure the bloggers we attract will go away with some kind of helpful understanding. This is my intention, as you know by these Actions.

Oh, and your Awareness and Freedoms must be coming from a state- of -being much more expanded then mine; even so much so that I will have to really stretch my understanding into worlds not within my comprehension! Let me try and explain this to myself. Your design must reach from dimensions not reachable yet to me, but simple for you. And yet you are of great importance for me and all on this earth within different energetic degrees. In other words, your not one of us !

In order to play this game of Life with me, you would have to be free of judgments, right? You would have to be Neutral, which would allow you to show no favoritism according for your likes and dislikes, right? I’m sticking to you being just plain and simple Awareness. Oh, a Force of Awareness, how about that? Like some kind of a God helper in tune with every move and wavement with that magic wand. Maybe you are the giving force over domination of all those whom step on this earth plain? Brilliant!

Gotta be Unconditional Space in there.

The Land of KARMA for the LOVE like God!  Such Brilliance!

Forever Cheryl

“Minds will Matter”

For as long as I can recall, I have heard the saying “there’s a reason for everything “.   What in the heck does that mean?  What kind of answer is that? Why would anyone even  think that?  How could that even make any sense to people?  Is that just a thing people say when there is absolutely no rhythm nor reason for something to happen?  Is that just an excuse we use when we see with our own eyes something good being bestowed upon  someone whom we know is so undeserving?  Is that meant to cover up our own excuses for not getting involved in finding “a reason”?  Is the meaning that we are just so incapable of finding an answer for our minds to comprehend that we are actually giving our minds peace by somehow creating a higher power that needs no reason?

Does this include everything we can’t explain and  every thing  explainable to us as we see and even can’t see?  Although this saying is only thrown around when things seem to not be within our own senses of comprehension; I need to expand.

Well, that saying has always raised my curiosity! ” Who is behind this reason? Surely now, within the 21st Century, we should be able to find this answer!  “There’s  a reason for Every Thing ” is meant to be Positive.

Hmmmmm, could our answer be Karma? We freely stepped into The Land of Karma with a Mind.

Forever Cheryl.

“Minds will Matter”

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